Amazon

one day i was browsing on amazon i found a cool hat i liked and got it. 2 days later (today) it arrived. i took the box from the delivery man and walked back into my house. i sat down on the couch and cut the tape on the box there was a layer of strong plastic rap, as soon as i cut it a foul smell emerged "wow" i thought "whoever wore this last must not have washed it, or wore it to a gym i better i better wash it." i grabbed plastic rap and put it next to me. the hat was a gray cowboy hat i was going to wear to a costume party. there was on big a piece of foam "like to keep it from moving in the box" i thought i picked up the hat and just as i did i dropped and screamed! heart racing i thought "i better call the police!" but just as i reached for my phone i got a text. it was from the seller. it said "ha wrong package did you open it?" i responded with "i am calling the police!" just as i sent that text he responded with "dial a single number and you die slower." i just heard a car door shut these may be my final words and i am sweating and... he got in.