BARRAMENALZ

Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside-down, and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there, I'll tell ya all about who I became some horrible abomination of mankind.
One day when I was a kid, I was walking home from school and then A BARREL POPPED OUT AND SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME.
So I started running away, but the barrel got me and FUCKING MOLESTED ME NONSTOP FOR THREE WEEKS.
I would never forget the...several weeks with that barrel. I've grown to hate barrels and I even set fire to a barrel factory. I had a panic-attack when my high-school teacher brought in her pet barrel, I have dreams, horrible dreams about barrels, and I even play video games with TOO MANY FUCKING BARRELS IN THEM!
Years have passed since then and I decided to become a YouTuber. I would spam the site with videos of me playing video games and yelling at the barrels I see and swearing in Swedish a large number of times.
What I called myself --- PewDiePie.