I was a big Bill the Fat Jew fan, much like every other autistic fuck on Earth. I liked the newer pornos, but didn’t mind playing the even more shittier classics. I never played hacked, glitchy, or sexy games before, but now I don’t think I want to after the hot experience I had.
It started with me jacking off to FNAF porn (Yeah, because dead, rotting children stuffed in animatronic suits is hot as fuck), when I noticed, out of my peripheral vision (Whoa, look mom, me using big boi wordz) that Peter Griffin aka God had left something in my mailbox as usual and left to go jack off to gay porn.
I checked the semen and shit encrusted mailbox for what it was and saw a dirty old McDonalds bag and a note written in jizz. I took it inside. I noticed that the note was from my dear friend, Ren Hoek (let’s just call him that faggots), and read it.
This is what it read:
“AH
THERE SPOOKY BILL WITH BLUUDY SPOOPY EYEZ TRYING TO KEEL ME!!!!1
DON’T PLAY IT STEEMPEE!!!!!1 IF U DO, U EEEEEDDDDDIOT!!!!!!1111
Love,
Your gay lover Ren Hoek
P.S.
I hate you”
Well, that certainly was not weird at all, because I’m special needs, so I threw the note out and played the game, putting it in my old Windows 98 computer and booting it up, I noticed it was the first Bill the Fat Jew game. I was liek, “YAY NIGGAS!!!1” because liek I said earlier retard, I like the classicks.
The first I noticed when I pressed start was that the title image changed to something very spooky. It was Boll with bluddy eyez and he had sharp teeth and sheet. But I brushed it off.
I saw that the level select from Boll the Fut Joo 3: Epic Porn McDonalds Adventure & Knuckles and was liek, “OH NO! AHHHHHHH!!!1”.
Then, I noticed something even spoopy.
The background was gay jew porn and there were only three save files with Harold, Mort, and to my surprise, Purple Guy!
I was confused because you could never play as Purple Guy in the classicks, because like I said earlier you fucking sped, I liek the clock sacks.
I selected Harold, since he was the hottest Jew out of the trio and began in a zone called SPOOPY BLUUDY HOLL ZANE AOCT UONE. That name sent shiver down my autistic vertebrae.
I saw I was in McDonalds and there was blood and dead fat Jews everywhere. AH! Then, Boll was there with his sexy fat rolls back to his BB Harold and Harold was liek, “BB! LET’S HAVE SEX!!!1” but Ballsack didn’t reply for some sexy reason.
Then, that sexy fuck of a Jew asshole nigger walked to Boll and Boll opened his eyes and they were BLLUUDY AND SHEEEEEEIT.
Then me went to another level called “HANKEY PANKEY” and Harold was crying like a little bitch, so I told him to shut the fuck up.
Then, Boll started to flash the screen with his penis and I screamed like a little girl when I saw him farting and flying towards Jewrold. So, I had that fat crying bitch boi run. It was very sexy and fun and I jizzed my pants watching him run.
Harold then tripped and Boll disappeared. He cried for 2 hours and then that angry blue fish from the SpongeBob episode with Bubble Buddy came and said, “TWO HOURS IS LONG ENOUGH! THAT’S IT!”.
Then, the spoop Boll appeared and raped Harold as the screen went black and text appeared saying, “UR DED!!!1 NU BOG SERPROSE!!!111”.
It went back to the sexy select menu and Harold was spoopy now with grey church clothes, which was scary because he’s Jewish, and bloody eyes like spoop Boll.
I picked the next sexiest option, Mort, and began the next level. But then, I began to have a seizure because it was spooping me out.
The next level was “YOU CAN’T FART” so I tested it out and nothing came out of my anus, so I spooked. Mort did the Jew run as soon as I moved him and it went all static and then it was bluudy and sheit and then Bill appeared and said, “HEY MORTY! LET’S FIGHT!”.
Was this some sort of epic anime battle with Bill? If so, then I need to message WatchMojo to update their Top 10 Best Anime Battles list because this was gonna be epic.
I tried to have Mort punch Bill, but as soon as he hit him, he said “OH GAWD! MY HAND! OW! THAT REALLY HURT! OOOOOOOW!” and I facepalmed. Bill got mad so he raped him and the screen went black as soon as he did just like with Hairold.
It went back to the character selection and Mort was now a spooky bluudy eyes Christian like Harold. I shit my pants and fainted.
I had a dream and Morty and Pubic Hair were saying, “WHY U MAKE US BECOME CHRISTIAN, U DUMB FAG! WE SUPPOSED TO BE JEWS, YOU DUMB BLOCKHEAD!”.
Then, the spooky Balls appeared and flashed in out. I noticed he was wearing Christian clothes too. Holy shit.
“ME GONNA RAPE U TOO JERK! WE ALL FUCK DOWN HERE!”
Then the other fucks started to chant:
“YOU’LL FUCK TOO!”
Over and over again with each one getting moar distorted and spoopy.
As soon as Bill was about to rape me, I woke up and started to play moar of the game because I’m dumb and don’t heed my dying friend’s warnings.
I picked Purple Guy and then it went into the game. I had him run and he did his usual charging animation from How Six Hours at Milked Franchise 3 & Knuckles & Ed, Edd n Eddy & My Mom & Dumb Regular Show References Got Her Groove Back: The Movie: The Series Fuck You Scott Cawthon Edition.
He then turned to me and said, “PLS DON’T LET ME GET RAPED OLD SPORT!” and I said k fag and made him walk. I noticed that the cum fountains behind him became bluudy red and then Boll appeared and it went to static.
Then a screen showing a hyper-realistic Bill appeared with I AM GOD and I died because he popped out my computer and sucked my dick and raped me.
And now...
yOu’Ll FuCk ToO!