It was my birthday, and my Mom and Dad got me a N64, and COINCIDENTALLY I got no games so I went to go get some games at Sears. There was
an old man with a missing limb holding a game cartridge. So of course I could trust him! I walked to him and asked about the game.
"Pardon my fat ass sir but may I buy this game from you?" I said.
"Sure you can have it for free" The old man said.
I took the game from the old man, and started walking away, then he said,
"Bye Mario."
But I thought he said,
"Bye bye have a good summer kiddo!"
I got home and investigated the cartridge. It was just a N64 cartridge with paper taped to it with the words, '$00pah Muriao six TEE
fwhore' written in black marker. I slapped that shit into my N64 like my dick up your a- aum I mean, the game started up normally like any
Nintendo 64 game. But when it came to Mario's face you could fuck around with, he was missing some eyes and his flesh was burning off, and
he was bleeding from his eye sockets. SO I decided to keep playing. Because if you see shit like that in a Nintendo game you KNOW nothing
bad will happen!
Mario spawned where you normally start the game, and when I tried to move, the game froze, the skybox turned to static, and I heard some
type of language whispering in the background, I heard screams, crying, laughter, the sound of my ass getting slapped. I was terrifyed....
BUT I decided to restart the game and keep playing. Of course ALL those things that happened were just bugs. I turned my Nintendo 64 back
on, but the game started immediately.
Mario spawned outside the castle as usual, BUT THEN A KNIFE FELL FROM THE SKY AND IMPALED MARIO!
HIS BLOOD AND GUTS SPILLED ON THE FLOOR LIKE MY FUCKING JAW WHEN I SAW THIS! Then the screen faded to black, and words appeared on my
screen.
"I WilL FiNd U"
MARIO THEN JUMPED OUT OF MY TV
He was covered with blood and cuts and rotting flesh all over him. "What do you want from me!?!?!??!11?!" I screamed. Mario then started
chuckling. "I'm gonna eat your soul, so I can constantly cause never-ending ceaseless agony!" Mario then started laughing so hard he was
snorting.
Dat bitch snorted so damn hard his nose fell off. And every time he snorted, he sprayed blood all over my face. Chunky, blue, slow-flowing,
blood. My face was covered in his blood then I said, "Jesus your blood smells like rotten sausages and cinnamon toast crunch!" Mario then
said, "That's because before all this I inhaled yo motha's sweet ass!"
Then I grabbed a knife and stabbed Mario straight in the face. He dropped dead on the floor, and it was all over. I took the game cartridge
out of my N64 and broke it to pieces. I didn't think I would ever do that again.
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THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT
0x540x6f 0x620x65 0x630x6f0x6e0x740x690x6e0x750x650x64 (Totally not hex)