I don't have much time to type this, so please listen or else you may fall prey to the Stereotypical Pastamonster.
It was a dark and stormy night and I was walking home from work, when an uninspired creature with hyperealistic eyes was standing still ten feet in front of me. I looked away and then it was gone.
On my way home I stopped by a garage sale and bought this video game from a crusty old man and went home. I put the game in my console and it suddenly started playing creepy music and the character was disfigured.
I eventually couldn't take anymore so I went on my computer and found a new file called "OverusedIdea.avi" I opened the file up and this old episode of SpongeBob started playing and blood and guts filled the entire episode and the number 666 suddenly appeared on my screen followed by the computer shutting off and cleverbot took over my computer forever and kept letting Herobrine from my Minecraft game corrupt my files into evil things.
This was when I turned around and saw the words NO ESCAPE written on my wall in blood. And then a skeleton popped out and I shot it and blew it up. Two days later it came back and no matter how many times I try and kill it. It won't leave me alone.
Is this the end? Either way I saw that a serial killer is on the loose in the newspaper and the only way to not be killed is to spread the word.
Retarded though it may be, you should probably read the first word of the last three paragraphs now.