The front door slammed downstairs, awaking me with a start. 3:24 AM? Who the hell is slamming my door at this time? As I walk downstairs slowly, I hold my breath.
Hopefully this is just a vivid dream, or a false alarm. I hear what sounds like plastic bags rustling in the living room. I then hear the painful sound of chomping: a huge set of teeth biting into something. I can’t make out what it is.
I quickly peek into the room. It’s total darkness except for the strand of colorful Christmas lights.
All I see is a large red creature standing in front of the tree, holding a sack of who the hell knows. It turns around and notices me, and lets out, in a blood-chilling voice: “You’re getting coal for Christmas”.