{{NSFW}}When I was 6 I used to worship transgender porn and 4chan. I devoted my life to making sure that after Mr. Brown's kindergarten class ended I would get home and stare at naked taiwanese hookers. Eventually I saved up $65 and rented out one. Damn did that save my sex life. My life was shattered when I found SCP containment breach.
I wanted to get it off of steam (Yes, in 2031 its a payed game and expensive as fuck) but I had no money because of transgender hookers. I went online to thepiratebay.co.uk and downloaded a file labled Scpcontainmentbreachandnotsomereallyshittyfanbootlegcopyandalsorequiresashittonofextradownloads.txt
It came with a bunch of shitty, useless files like Bronyspeak.png and the9/11conspiracyrevealed.txt, and howtogetfreebestiality.ogg. There was one file that caught my intrest. ED.exe. I have an erectile Dysfunction, so I clicked it. I instantly got a raging, throbbing boner. It was Encyclopedia Dramatica, slightly different. Instead of every page having tranny porn, like 99.99999% of their pages do, there was furry porn. I clicked the ad for free webcams and one flew through my window and hit me on the head.
I awoke to a game called SCPcyclopedia Dramatica. It functioned just like usual, but when I got to the keter wing the rooms were different. First, ALL TEH BLOOD WUZ REPLACED WITH SEMEN, second, 682 was replaced with Obama bin laden, I was scared when I founed 096. His usual disjointed arms scared me. then my cumpooter restarted. I had a heart attack when I saw two unspeakable things.
# I was a mexican with a cheap haircut
# Encyclopedia Dramatica was replaced with Uncyclopedia.
I walked unto the HQ of Uncyclopedia, killed the manager, and replaced all the computers' system32 with GAME-OF-THE-YEAR 420BLAZEIT!!!!11!!!!11!!!!!!1!!!!!
Unfortunaately the custodian shot me in the eyes. Im writing this on the floor bleeding and dyeinge.
THEN, A SKELETON POPPED OUT
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air
In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'
I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suitcase and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.
First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.
But wait I hear there're prissy, bourgeois and all that
Is this the type of place that they should send this cool cat?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air
Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say that this cab was rare
But I thought 'Nah forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air