The first time i masturbated, i was all alone with a venus flytrap.
And i said to myself; "You know what? i want this ''Venus'' Flytrap...to become a ''Penis'' Flytrap!"
And then i laughed at my own hilarious and woody pun for several minutes.
After that, i said to the venus flytrap; "Hey buddy, you know what's about to happen?"
And then he said; "I can't speak or think because i'm a plant"
And then i was like; "Oh whatever that's cool bro..."
And then i shoved my cock right down it's throat, and it started sucking on it, and i was like "Yeah...yeah...wait no! This was a terrible idea...it's so painful...i...this was awful why did i do this?"
And that's the story, of how my dick got bit off, by a penis flytrap. Thank you for reading, goodbye!