I am a huge fan of first person shooters. But not your typical FPS games like Call Of Duty, because they're full of whiny babies and gaywads who only know swear words. I'm more interested in some of the first FPS games to hit shelves. Classics such as Doom and Chex Quest are what I love. One day, I was looking for hacks of Doom when I came across a game titled "MOOD" by some gaywad named Lucifer. Thinking nothing of it, I downloaded it to my computer. It was 666.666KB and titled "MOOD.exe" with an icon that looked like some moron star in a circle. Ignoring this, I started the game. The title screen was a reversed version of the original Doom title screen, but with some minor differences. The Doom Guy was covered in specks of blood and the demon at the top right corner had an eye with a singular bright red pupil. I thought the title screen was retarded and lazy. I flipped of the screen and called Lucifer a moron. I started up the game and was placed in a gay-ass long, dark hallway. After walking for a fucking hour and swearing at the screen about a hundred times, a huge enemy popped out of nowhere and instantly killed me before I had time to react.
"GOD DAMN IT YOU FUCKING MORON GAME!!!!" I yelled at the unfair son of a bitch. I was placed in a different level with morony little enemies completely flooding the floor. One shot killed the little sons of bitches, and I ran out of ammo before I could kill all the little bastards. With nothing else to do, I flipped off the game and jumped into the floor, instantly dying again. I was getting really sick of this Lucifer guy. If I could, I would have punched him square in the balls. I was then placed at the final boss from Doom 2, the Icon Of Sin. I tried to kill the boss, but I simply didn't have enough morony `ammo. I had no choice but to let the boss kill me.
"GET TO THE POINT YOU MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!" I screamed at the pointless piece of shit. This time I was back in the hallway. But at the end of the second long-ass fantastic voyage, there was nothing but a rusty piss-colored sink and a dirty shit-colored mirror that showed the Doom Guy's reflection. I stared at the shit-colored mirror for an excruciating ten minutes, and then a red hand popped out and strangled my character.
"FUCK YOU LUCIFER I HOPE YOU GOT TO HELL YOU GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING MORON!!!!" I shrieked at the retarded piece of ass. Text appeared on the screen, but it was some gay foreign language I didn't understand. The next level was nothing special. I was trapped in a small room with blood on the walls and a head on the ground. I picked up the head, and my computer crashed. According to the moron computer, the crash happened as a result of an error. The error's number was 666. Once my computer rebooted, I went to Google what error 666 was. My computer crashed again with the exact same error. This time, there was an extra message.
"Don't do that... play the game... that information is useless to you."
"IF YOU WANT ME TO PLAY YOUR SHITTY GAME, THEN WHY DO YOU KEEP CRASHING MY COMPUTER, YOU BONER?!?!?!" I shouted at the god damn shitty fucking asshole cunt fuck who gave me the message.
"Uh... good question." responded the computer in another message. Figuring that this dickweed wouldn't let me do anything other than play his pussy-ass game, I started up MOOD.exe again. I was back in the hallway, but there were enemies, so I was occupied while walking down the hallway long as fuck. At the end, the head from before was there. Looking closer, I realized it was MY head. I shot at it and guess what happened? Mother fucking dick ass shit piss fuck cunt bitch slut moron gay pussy ass fuck dick moron ERROR 666! AGAIN! FOR THE BILLIONTH FUCKING TIME!
"COME UP WITH SOMETHING ORIGINAL FOR ONCE INSTEAD OF CRASHING MY COMPUTER WITH SHITTY ASS ERROR 666 YOU GOD DAMN SADISTIC MOTHER FUCKING GAY ASS PUSSY MORON!!!!!!" I hollered. At this point, I threw my gay ass computer out of the fucking pussy ass window and broke the son of a cunt. But my computer fixed itself, and teleported back to my desk in an instant. I tried smashing it with a hammer. Didn't work. Tried burning it. Didn't work. Tried deleting my hard drive. Didn't work, and deleted all my porn. Tried shutting off the power. Guess what? DIDN'T FUCKING WORK! I realized I had to continue MOOD.exe and finish it once and for all. Once I started the shitty game back up, it was just a black screen that read "Calculating MOOD..." and had one of those little shitty circles that appear when your Youtube video is buffering. After a minute, the screen read "ANGRY" in blood red letters. I just then realized that this game was just to figure out my mood. All those errors, all the fucking unfair deaths, just to tell me that I was angry.
"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I'M ANGRY YOU PIECE OF SMELLY ASS SHIT!!!!" I yelped at the retarded fucking computer. Then another line of text showed up after a couple seconds.
"I knew it all along! Share this game with your friends, and find out their MOOD!" Then there was an option to share it with Facebook friends. I had to say, it DID get my mood right, but did it REALLY have to put me through all that gay ass fucking shit? I shared it with one friend. (Sorry, Larry.) When I was done sharing it, I was back at my desktop, with all my porn still there. I was finally free, but I will never forget that mother fucking gay ass pussy slut bitch cunt *** retarded bastard of a game... that guessed my mood right.