One day, my father hung himself. That same day, my brother fucked a large beef wellington and got autism. My sister, unfortunately, managed to walk after 10 years of being fully able to walk, and my mother, took a shit in a river where it was illegal. I then got touched on my shoulder by someone I didn't understand. As I looked around, a man swiftly handed me a 100MB floppy disk containing a 1GB in size file called 'meathead.exe'.
I walked into my fathers old house, and walked downstairs to his attic. I put th floppy disk into his old iPad, and ran the file. The Windows 9 jingle played. Now this was very scary because Windows 9 isn't real.
I played the file and got prompted with the User Account Control window. I don't know the password so I had to ask my dad. Luckily he gave it to me.
I installed the file onto the PC. I got a warning message saying this type of file could harm my Mac, but I didn't care. When the install finished, Windows Defender said that it has been uninstalled and no other anti viruses can be installed anymore. I was very shocked.
Someone then came up behind me and stroked my frontal lobe very sexually. I turned around and it was Paddy McGuinness himself. He said to me "I'm a fire truck, so tell me when to stop...". He made his way down my body, until he was to close to my dick. I told him stop, and he said "Firetrucks don't stop for red lights...".
He then swiftly hammered me against the couch that I was sitting on and said to me "You remind me of my big toe, becuase I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture I know".
Paddy McGuinness then raped me. He then took away the USB stick from the iPad, and hyper realistically had his period on my face. It was a sad day.
i never found out what was on meathead.exe.
created by IBeaverz and IglooooooBoiz
extracted from the Testament before the Old Testament