NIPPLES.EXE
One day I was at the flea market because it is fun and I find lots of cool video game shit there. I was looking for my rad friend Barney but instead there was an old man in Barney’s place. “What happened to Barney? I asked the old man.
“I have no fucking clue but he left this for you.” It was a cd that said “A sonic game”. I play the occasional Sonic the Hedgehog, though, I’m not very good. But, if Barney is giving it to me, it must be good.
As I was walking home (I lived nearby) I was wondering what was inside the case. Sonic 06? SOnic R? Both good games. I decided to open the case. The cd had nothing written on it but there was a note on the inside. It was from Barney! it said…
''Peggy,''
''For the love of god destroy this game. And don’t play it. Trust me. I know you like to do stupid shit but I am not shitting you right now you have to believe me. It’s fucking cursed.''
''-Barney''
Barney is so silly! He tries to play pranks on me all the time. I put the note back into my cd-case and continued home. But, another note was on my doorstep.
''Boy, kinda chilly today huh''
''-N.E.''
Chilly? It was the middle of summer. Who was N.E.? I was going to find out soon, but, I didn’t really want to know. And trust me when I say, Barney was right, I didn’t want to.
When I got into my house, I booted up the computer and put the disc in. “Can you feel the sunshine started laying. It was a little distorted, but I shrugged it off. then the titlescreen appeared
A fan game? Is that what Barney doesn’t want me to play? A poorly made one, too.But, I had to find out. So, I pressed start. But, I keep hearing something whisper “emrahld…”. I just shrugged it off, and started playing.
I was Sonic. The level was just flat and really plain. The ground was black. The sky was red. I began to move forward until I reached a cliff. I thought about going down until something appeared in front of me. It looked like knuckles. It was screaming “EMRAHLDS” and then beat sonic to a bloody pulp in front of me. I was horrified.
I was back at the start menu. This time there was a continue option. I clicked that. It was the same only this time I was playing as what looked like Tails. I went to the cliff again and what looked like Knuckles came back. Only this time Tails started to fly. But… with his arms. He was screaming in an ear-piercing manner. It almost sounded real. Then, what I thought was knuckles pulled him down and gave him the sonic treatment.
I was starting to feel like I was going to piss myself. But, I clicked continue one more time. There was a person on the screen. It was…. Barney?!
''“Peggy…… please help me…..”''
I started screaming “WHAT THE HELL BARNEY THIS ISN’T FUNNY ANYMORE”
''“This isn’t a joke… I’m stuck in the game because of Nipples the Enchilada. The only way to get me out is to break the game.”''
“N-Nipples?” just as I said that, Nipples the Enchilada appeared on the screen. His eyes were like black holes. His fist-nipples were coated in hyper-realistic blood. He had a sadistic look on his face and he was standing right behind Barney. Then he began to speak.
''“Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Nipples the Enchilada. I can break through bones with my rock-hard fist nipples……….. Boy, It’s kinda chilly today huh…….”''
THE NOTE. Just as I was thinking about the note, my room became ice-cold. I felt like I had frost bite. Especially…. in my nipples.
''“PEGGY QUICK TAKE OUT THE GAME AND DESTROY IT”''
Just as I was about to take out the game, the room became very windy. So windy I had trouble moving. But, I was able to open it. I kept hearing Nipples scream about how he wants Barney to give him the emrahlds. But, I tried to ignore while I snapped the disc in half. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then one last time.
Before me stood Barney. “You can stop crying now.” he told me.
“Are we going to burn what’s left of it?”
“Yes.”
That night we both went to a bon fire and threw the remains of the disc in when no one was looking. We did hear a little bit of screams, but, we shrugged it off. We knew we were free from the evil know as Nipples the Enchilada.