{{NSFW}}It's not often that I turn to the internet in times of desperation, but this is one of the two times I have done so. I want to share with you a story, it happened to me 3 days ago. I was on the couch, my wife was on a vacation in Fiji on our yacht. I was mansion-alone with only the maids to tend to me. I needed a good wank but the 80 inch tele was off for repairs. I sat alone, itching at my pants. I had enough, I went to my office and opened up my Chrome+ browser, going into bookmarks. My wife always went on porn sites so pornhub was bookmarked. 3 minutes after scrolling through MILFs, I came across an ad that said Overwatch Free Download. So I said to myself "Fuck yeah, I wanna play this game. I clicked the download link, little did I know that was the worst mistake of my life.
The link downloaded a file named "PornHub.exe". I double clicked the file and to my surprise, my computer came up with a million pop-up windows with the words: "Unable to run PornHub.exe on a Macintosh computer you stuck up prick". That's when I went to open it with Wine. The program ran like normal except Tracer wasn't in the game, when I selected to play as Tracer my computer shut off and will not turn back on.
Two days later, Tracer was in my bed, my wife came home and saw that Tracer was next to me. My wife left me that day and ever since then, Tracer followed me with a static movement pattern always saying "Why couldn't you have chosen another hero?"
That's when I realized something, I could get a good nut in Tracer.