Runescape

I logged into Runescape one day and noticed that my friend ldlJesseldl wasn't online, yet posted online through the clan page status. I was going to ignore this but instead, since I have no life, I decided to creep on him some more and go looking for him. I noticed he was on world 164, a world dedicated to a certain minigame of Runescape, known as Stealing Creation.
I grabbed my Game's Necklace, rubbed the fuck out of it, and got ready to bust this noob Jesse for being a bot, little did I know that he was not botting but in-fact being possessed by the late TheOldNIte (a legendary Runescape veteran). As I made my way up to the stealing creation lobby I saw a glowing orange dot on my minimap. "Haha, I have him now!" (I said this outloud because I have no friend in real life and I feel Runescape busting is an accomplisment equal to kissing a girl).
I made my way towards the area he was confined in and I jumped over the stile while almost tripping over my enormous ego. I made my way towards ldlJesseldl, noticing his attire consisting of a knitted brown wool shirt and green pants. I approached him saying, "Hello Botter :3 Fucking noob!" And to my surprise, he answered saying "You are not good for team!" and then stabbed me in the middle of my face with a Jagex Bronze Dagger. I was totally surprised that Jesse was not a bot, but in fact a hacker! How could he get a weapon into the stealing creation lobby? That little cheat.
Then I looked up at the computer and instead of spawning in Lumbridge like I usually do, I spawned in a place titled "The Nether". I was totally surprised and scared out of my mind. I turn my camera only to see zombified half-wolf half-human things approaching me saying "Yo foolz wantz a cheezburgars?" Instead of clawing my face in half like I thought they would, they instead surrounded me and took turns foundling my greasy, fat ass. Before I could figure out what they were doing (I never learned about sex because I'm Jehovah's Witness and I play rs all day) they pulled my pants down and started to penetrate me in ways I didn't think were possible. It was kinda hot now that I think about it, but that's besides the point. After getting jizzed on by the pack of wolves, I started to like this place called The Nether.
In the distance noticed a speck of orange, I said to myself "Maybe a new color party hat or a rare yugioh card!" I ran as fast as I could for 37 seconds but then I got tired, so I decided to walk. As I approached the orange speck more closely I noticed it was in fact a young, austistic looking boy. He greeted me saying, "Helloz im austins, when is clanz citadeeelz update?" I was confused by his rather random question so I answered "I don't know." He then replied, "Ok so how are yo...when is the clan citadel update?" I exclaimed, "I DON'T KNOW!!!!" He answered, "You don't have to be a di...How much dung xp will I get if im 67 dung with a bot?"
This convo continued for a few more minutes until i felt the need to leave this austistic, fat ginger. However, when I tried to walk away my legs were chained to the floor and he laughed, "Hehe you won't escape from m....when do we get to mine in the citadel?" And to this day I am stuck with this retarded ginger who pretends to smoke weed and have a girlfriend.....FUCK YOU JESSE! -Chess Moon
A SKELETON POPPED OUT