NOTE: This is a sequel to- okay no one cares
Hello, ladies and fricks, my name is xXLADTRONICXx and I'm part of a shitty police department with a sister who is retarded. Anyways, we're investigating an also retarded case called the "Sonic.exe murders" which makes absolutely no fucking sense. What I think is that some guys got viruses that told some serial killers where their locations were and then they destroyed their computers to remove the evidence, and then killed them. BUT, NO. It's all connected to some game called "Sonic.exe". To be honest, this is the stupidest fucking case that I've ever investigated here, so I hereby declare I leave this god damn police department. Nevermind, I was told if I left the police department I would be sacrificed to the.. cult of X? There's a CULT now? Fuck this. I'm going far away from these retards to do some actual investigation. I want to prove that this has nothing to do with a god damn game.
That's what xXLADTRONICXx's last entry was, because we here at this department are full of shit and don't respect other people's personal belongings. Also, he's dead. Same with his sister. Cool. I'm going to read the rest of this.
7:30 PM September 15th, 2011
That was the worst fucking birthday I've ever had. My sister dares to give me a diary? This is worse than the time she's given me a copy of Sonic '06. Also, my friend named Sammy died for some reason. And my name is xXLADTRONICXx, in case if I get so drunk that I forget my own name again.
11:22 AM October 24th, 2011
Some retard died on Halloween. Like I'm supposed to believe that. Whenever someone "dies" on Halloween, don't believe it. It's just a prank. Everything about Halloween is supposed to be spooky.
2:30 PM
What the fuck. No one's dead inside this house. It's just Sammy's computer. He's been sending copies of this "murder game" to other people. Okay, so Sammy's part of this cult. Or he likes to send people creepy horror games. A pretty big fucking assumption for someone to say he's part of a cult. We have NO proof. I feel like I'm in an organization full of retards sometimes.
6:10 PM
The guys back at the lab say Sonic.exe has a virus in it.
Why the fuck should I care?
4:30 PM on the day that Skyrim was released
I would have bought Skyrim right now, but the store's out of stock. So, out of boredom, I went to check on the investigation of these "Sonic.exe murders" because to be honest, I'm fucking done with this. So, apparentally, the people who were in numerical order. This begs the question.. why the hell is the murderer keeping track of the murders now instead of the last fucking.. thirty.. fifty times?
8:30 PM
Played Skyrim on a friend's console. It was decent. Got a call from my sister to come home and eat dinner, but fuck her, no. I'm staying up here.
2:45 PM December 2nd, 2011
My sister tells me that she believes these murders are connected to that game. My answer? FUCK YOU YOU STUPID FUCKING BITCH I DISOWN YOU AS SISTER. And then I left. And then I came back because I felt bad. But I'll never agree with her on the fact that these murders are from the game.
6:30 PM
Another autopsy came in. The victims are for some reason not dead, and still alive, which means these aren't murders. Now I can roast the department for calling them murders.
5:42 PM December 14th, 2011
I believe my sister has gotten crippling depression.
2:00 PM December 19th, 2011
Okay, my sister definitely has crippling depression. Also, we have proof that there's a cult now. They worship some guy named X, which is for some reason also connected to this game.
9:30 PM December 24th, 2011
My crippled sister isn't talking to me. That's good. I fucking hate her as much as I love her. But I don't love her enough to say I love you to her, so I guess I hate her more than I love her. She said she found the game.
Oh. I'm going to see what's up with it, then.
12:32 AM December 25th, 2011
(The page is covered in thumbs up stamps)
She's dead. Good riddance.
4:50 AM
My mother who also lives with us forced me to investigate my sister's death, so I did. Oh, my. So- wait what the fuck I never heard this door open and the window's intact and I never heard any noise up here so this is proof that our grandfather spites my sister for shitting on his Nintendo 64.
Also, my sister's funeral is coming up. I'm not going.
4:50 PM December 28th, 2011
My mother forced me to go to my sister's funeral. To be honest, they didn't even try to make the funeral sad. It was more like silence in a room for twelve hours. And then they did speeches on how they liked my sister and wanted to fuck her, but then I told them not to talk about that because that was a fucking funeral. So I left after that.
2:20 PM January 2nd, 2012
One of my retarded co-workers talked to a woman named Sherbert Geraldmoon, who said she was a part of the cult of X. He asked her some questions, and then she told him to tell me that she was sorry for my loss. Let's be honest, here, lady; No one likes my sister. So don't be sorry. Be happy. Be very happy.
Also my sister probably has clues on this shitty case. Because, we've gotten almost four times the amount of murders in the past few months, and we've had no progress.
5:30 PM
My sister's computer is gone. There's nothing here. Besides my sister's corpse, and a notebook. It seems she's gone insane while playing, often writing phrases like "i would like a bleach please" in the middle of her perfectly fine notes. Maybe this was a suicide sort of thing? Maybe the game tries to make people perform suicide before the killer finds them?
Oh my god, I've never written something that serious since I was younger. Why should I care, though? I'm fine the way I am.
LIFE LESSONS, KIDS.
7:12 AM January 3rd, 2012
Holy shit, it's early in the morning. I just woke up from having a nightmare with Emoji Satan and a spooky scary Sonic. Sonic told me if I didn't play his game I would get thrown into hell. So, I'm not going to play his game. Simple as that.
3:30 PM
I got a little more rest before I went out today. The fucking Cult of X was out selling copies of Sonic.exe. That's perfectly normal. Computer games on Gamejolt shouldn't have discs or covers. That won't help me on the case, though- wait why are these faggot-ass kids selling copies of the game that's supposedly murdering everyone? This is strange.
6:30 PM
WOOHOO.
I was just let off the case, motherfuckers!
Fuck you, fuck this, fuck it all, lick ma' dick I'm done!
5:00 PM February 8th, 2012
More people died. You know what I'm going to say, stalkers reading the stuff that I write: I. Do. Not. Care. A. Single. Fuck.
My sister's notes go even further, which talk about a Sonic plushie watching her. What.
8:30 PM
A kid texted me on Instagram and his name was Charcoal. He says he knows something about X and Sonic.exe.
Hell no, I'm doing this on my own.
11:45 PM
Someone emailed me the files to these "Sonic.exe Murders." They went by the name Charcoa- GOD DAMN IT LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.
I suppose I could have used the files, though, so I did. They were useful indeed. X was connected to Sonic.exe, along with his fucking cult. They have the cult members down on this list, too, which one of them was Sherbert, and Sammy. Jesus christ, the person who wrote this file had bad grammar. And it seems they came before me. Derek Green? Nevermind, the guy was a gay asshole and I know that because it says clearly right here. Wait, people can't see what I can when I write things down.
Anyways, I suppose I could have at the game. Maybe so I can die.
3:30 PM March 1st, 2012
I played the game. It was actually half decent. Until, of course, I fucking died. As Tails. Tails was my favorite fucking character. If you hate Tails, you hate Anime, and nobody but me can hate Anime. "You're learning more about this better than anyone, aren't you, xXLADTRONICXx?" an ominous voice came from my computer. "Shut the fuck up, I muted you." I said back. I shut the game off and went to bed, after un-muting and muting my computer seven times to make sure it was muted.
4:30 PM March 2nd, 2012
Charcoal emailed me another email, since this is the only way to talk to me, I guess he supposes. So, I suppose that I have to read it, since he keeps spamming me with these same emails. "X is a god." it said. Well, no shit. He has a cult. Cults worship gods. And I haven't seen anyone named X walking around. "He's Sonic.exe himself." it also said. That's one of the first conclusions I made. Well, now we have evidence. We can take all of the Sonic.exe games off the market, if we find them, and hide them in a vault, where no one else will find them. "After the game is played, he send a plushie basically acting as a security camera." Well, the answer to that is simple: Just throw the fucking toy out. "He turns people into slaves." Oh, well so did Christopher Columbus, and Adolf Hitler. Actually, so did almost everyone else in the world who has children. All children are slaves. So no. Fucking. Duuuurrrrrrrr.
6:30 PM
Charcoal sent me an email called "ttyl douchebag".
4:30 PM April 22nd, 2012
Some guy named Paul died. Also, I was almost kidnapped by the cult, which is fucking hilarious that they tried. They got tased. I stole my taser back from the police department, because I got fired, but I still have my taser.
No time listed but also, May the Fourth be with you, Luke. I have a thpeetch impedimentt.
I want to make assumptions and blame people for getting me fired from my job, so I'm blaming the police chief. Boom. Mystery solved. I'm done.
But, not really. I still have to deal with this X kid. And then, I'll find out what happened to Sammy for once.
Another unlisted time here. Very spooky. Also, it's August 12th. In 2012. Spooooookkkykyyyyyyyyyyyy.
We have a survivor here, named Tom. He survived the game. Oh my god. I asked him what he saw. He told me he wanted his mother. That translates to me that Sammy's still alive. So I tased Tom and went on my way to this so-called fucking dimension, and got ready for the next murder to happen, because Charcoal told me that when X decides the time is right, he's going to open a portal or some shit. So, I'm ready.
4:20 AM August 24th, 2012
I played more of the game. It seems that Knuckles can't feel pain. Because his neck snapped. My computer said more ominous words to me, which I put down in a notepad document.
"See? I'm not such a bad guy, xXLADTRONICXx.."
"I can be kind when I want to.."
"I really do love humans, xXLADTRONICXx."
"So much fun to play with.."
"In fact, I guess you could say.."
"..they're the ULTIMATE TOY."
"No," I said in disagreement. "You can get the ultimate toy in Bad Dragon stores."
8:30 PM
Cole emailed me saying that "People who die playing the game turn into their favorite characters". My sister's favorite character was Rouge. I'm gonna kill her. YES! YEEESSSSSSSS
PD Note: why the fuck is he so happy to kill his sister
6:66 August 25th, 2012
X decided to kill me after I killed my sister in the game, so I jumped in the portal he made from his dimension to ours. I escaped his soul-taking tentacle shit and I made it into his world, which was pretty dank. There were these seven statues that the Hedgehog people called the Guardians. I named them accordingly:
Cunt - Prayer
Bitch - Sorrow
Fucker - Rage
Whore - Hatred
Slut - Happiness
Nigger - Fear
Succubus Girl - Desire
Apparently they were created to maintain the world. Cool but not.
X is also thinking up ways to conquer our world.
Yeaaah no, bud. You don't want to see the cancerous and cringy power of Earth.
8:42 PM
Oh no. The cult took my only tour guide around this rip-off of Green Hill Zone. Well, I'll finally- I fell into a fucking hole. And I found Sammy.
10:00 PM
I saved Sammy's ass, and apparently there's an eighth Guardian that we need to destroy before we kill X and leave.
His name is SammyTheClassicSonicFan, and he's basically Bitch, Fucker, Whore, and Nigger combined. We ran around to find his castle, and a skeleton who was him popped out. Here's a picture-to-picture re-enactment.
11:00
We fucked up X. But X fucked Sammy up pretty good, too.
"You can't win.. I'm Sonic.. Sonic can't lose..!"
I tried to help Sammy up. But he was kill.
"..hahahahaha.. you think you can-"
"Shut the fuck up. You've pissed me off for the last time." I said to X.
I set up a nuke in his castle and then everyone died.
That was the whole fucking diary. But, then.. if he set up the nuke.. and everyone died.. then how does this diary say everyone died if everyone died? How do we even have this diary?
Well, bitch, it's me, xXLADTRONICXx, and I've done my fair share of storytelling. Sammy, take it away.
"Okay," Sammy said. "We're going on an adventure.. to find a Golden Sonic.exe backpack.."
To be continued even if this story is still up for two years and there isn't a sequel around.