Self-Insert

So slenderman wrapped his limbs around one guy and screame "othur! Pleeze help me!" And I, the author, (totally NOT a self-insert) saved him.
He gave me a tape labeled "Spongebob lost suicide mouse episode mist lost tape.avi.wmv.mpg.mp4" and I put in on the computer. It showed rainbow dash and pinkie pie, and it was liak cupcakes all over again. And then the screen flashed to a wave of gory satanic images. I then obtained a hyper-realistic mumified hand from the scout from tf2 and then I came in and talked to my own self-insert. I gave it to him, and he turned into a xenophobic racist and began cursing black people.
I gathered my cloned army of self-inserts and attacked him, but his forces were too strong. He wiped out my army and held my GF hostage inside his chest cavity.
I realized that one of my other self-inserts gave himself the title DR. TOTALLYNOTSELFINSERT and named his self insert GIANT SELF INSERT and it became huge.
I fought his spit samples into is chest, and saw my gf chained to the wall. But GIANT SELF INSERT did thing and I saved the day.
But then...
a...
"I'm warning you man, don't do it!" said my self-insert out of nowhere.
skele...
"Dont! please!"
ton...
"DONT DO IT CMON MAN IM WARNING YOU BWAAAAAH"
emerged.
umad?
And so, I never played minecraft again.