SuicideShitler.avi
SuicideShitler.avi
is a lost DAMN-ASS trolololpasta and is widely seen as the forefather of the entire lost episode genre. This story is based off of an new, unseen Downfall parody. There is also a video that is based off of the Stupidpasta.
ザー シッティーパスター (The shittypasta)
So do any of you remember those Downfall parodies from the ABCXYZs? The ones that were just put out on DVD a quadrillion years ago? Well, I hear there is one that was unreleased to even the most avid classic Hitler fans.
According to sources, it's not nothing special. It's just a continuous loop (whatever.) of Hitler walking past 300 buildings that goes on for 100 minutes before fading out. Unlike the fancy tunes put in though, the song on this parody was not a song at all, just a looping Lavender Town theme song for a minute and a half before going to PRESS THE SELF DISTRUCT BUTTON!!!
It wasn't the fancy scene(s) we've come to love either, Hitler wasn't dancing, not even smiling, or saying "FEGELEIN!!!", just kind of walking as if you or I were walking, with a ASSY LOOKING.
Up until a day or million hyper-years, everyone believed that after it cut to black and that was it. When Hermann Fegelein was reviewing the parody to be put in the still-un-in-de-complete series, he decided it was too junk to be on the DVD, but wanted to have a digital CYBER-ANTICS due to the fact that it was a creation of the bunker. When he had a digitized version up on his Fegel-computer to look at the file, he noticed something.
The cartoon was actually 456906840902384 minutes long. This is what my source emailed to me, in full (he is a personal assistant of one of the almost higher executives at the bunker, and acquaintance of Mr. Fegelein himself):
"After it cut to black and white, it stayed like that until the 6003480238th minute, before going back into Hitler walking. The sound was different this time. It was a yelling. It wasn't a words, but more like a "FEGELEIN!" yelling. As the noise got more annoying like a Mario and too loud over the next 493 minutes, the picture began to get DAMNED. The sidewalk started to go in directions that seemed impossible based on the physics of Hitlers walking. And the shitty Hitler face become troll face.
On the 0.49808209384th minute, the "FEGELEIN!" yelling become MORE louder (Srsly?) and the picture was getting more friggin' damned. Colors were not happening that shouldn't have been possible at the time. Hitler's face began to damned. His face become Nyan Cat's face.
The buildings became changing rapidly into all kind of memes and the sidewalk was still impossibly navigating in warped directions, a few seeming inconceivable with what we, as humans, know about direction. Mr. Fegelein said: "YAAAAAAA TURN THAT SHITTY THING OFF BEFORE I DO FEGEL-SLAP" and left the room, sending Leopold Slikk to finish the video and take notes of everything happening up until the last second, and afterward immediately fuck the disc of the parody into the Herobrine's poop. This assy "FEGELEIN" yelling lasted until -48 minutes and a few seconds in, and then it ends with Hitler's face were angry.
This happened for about 1 bazillarillion seconds, and whatever was in that remaining 1 supernanoseconds I haven't been able to get a news. From a boozing obesessing guy (that's Burgdorf) working under me who was making rounds outside of that room, I was told that after the last frame, Leopold stumbled out of the room with pale skin saying "NEIN!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE WORST DOWNFALL PARODY I EVER SEEN!!!!!!!!!!! NAH!!!!!!!! GYARH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GOING TO SUICIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 201302183 times before speedily taking the Burgdorf's knife and chop his balls on the spot.
The thing I could get out of Hermann Fegelein was that the last frame was a piece of Vietnamese text that translated by Jodl, that said: "the sights of god bring its bitches back in". As far as I know, no one else has seen it, but there have been dozens of attempts at getting the file on TELEFRICKY by audiences outside the bunker, all of whom have been promptly raped of their graves.
Whether it got online or not is up for debate, but if rumors serve me right, it's online somewhere under "SuicideShitler.avi". If you ever find a real thing, I want you to never view it, and to contact me by phone immediately, regardless of the time. When a Bunker Death is covered up as well as this, it means this has to be something huge.
Lol, I love you,
KedGlitchy"
I've yet to find a REAL ONE, but it is in there. I know it.