Walmart.exe

Vinnce12 walked around his local Walmart, looking for wrestling DVDs, cat food for Stubby and a fire extinguisher to put out the burning crosses the KKK put up in front of his yard (they're kind of assholes like that.) He had gotten the cat food and a couple of DVDs, heading for the Fire Extinguisher section of the store. The woman manning the extinguishers looked to barely be out of high school, smoking a cigarette while on work through a small hole in the white mask she was wearing.
"Uh... excuse me..." Vinnce began, seeing the nametag on her bizarrely large breasts said "Jane Lebowski" on it in the regular typeface, with "BIG" scrawled on it in Sharpie. "...Jane. I'm looking for some fire extinguishers," he continued, Jane blowing a puff of smoke in Vinnce's face. "We're out of the portable ones," she said with a wheezing hack, taking another puff "Hold on, I gotta get a ladder to get one of the ceiling extinguishers," Jane said with a series of coughs, pointing her cigarette up at the ceiling. Vinnce looked up to see a series of fire extinguishers affixed to the store's ceiling. Jane walked off to get a ladder while Vinnce contemplated how in the hell they got all those extinguishers up on the ceiling.
His pondering was cut short by the sound of a sledgehammer scraping against the floor. Vinnce turned to see a familiar face in a black suit, wielding a bloody sledge and wearing a yellow foam ball in on his head...
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SMILEY!
Smiley turned his head, pointing at Vinnce threateningly, charging at him with the sledgehammer. Vinnce and Smiley struggled for control of the hammer, Vinnce gaining control and slamming the top of the man's yellow head with it and sending Smiley to the floor, shattering the ball into pieces. The man known as Smiley soon stood up, face bloodied but his massive nose making it quite clear that underneath the mask was...
...
...
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TRIPLE H!!!
Triple H, breathing hard through his elephantine nose, stared Vinnce12 down and uttered a simply sentence. “In my opinion, books are no place for Walmart!" he then proceeded to grab Vinnce and hit him with a Pedigree, taking the cat food and walking out.