Watergate
Hello, my name is Michael Rutherford. I am "dead" since 1980 but I am a vampire. But this has no importance whatsoever.
I worked as an official in the White house in 1972. One day, Nixon told me to keep an eye out on those filthy Democrats, along with 5 other guys.
I executed this mission, but we were caught red-handed by the security guards. One of them was your mom. (hey were all ladies). I killed her, but we were all restrained and subsequently arrested by them.
Judgement day. All my mates were acquitted, but since I killed your mother, here was my verdict :
GUILTY. AS CHARGED.
But damn, that was not right. Someone else was controlling me.
For 8 years, I waited for my death to come. During this period, I heard Nixon's speech, in which he said he wasn't a crook. I heard about his demission.
In 1980, the time has come for me the "die". But that didn't matter for me 'cause I was a vampire. Death was in the air, and I was strapped in the electric chair. And Nixon told : "This can't be happeing to me." But I knew God wouldn't take my life away from me.
I saw a flash before my eyes. I knew it was the time to die. I could feel the burn in my brain and in my soul.
I am dead. For now. But Obama will be next, because you were next. before that, your dad was next. All hail EVIL PATRIXXX. All hail lord Rutherford.
Picture is my face.
I will be back.
''And phone was me.''
''Not your gf's dad.''
''I will open the door''
''Get on floor ''
''And make a dinosaur.''